Friday, October 16, 2015

The Anniversary Mailbag


On October 16, 2013, I posted the very first entry on Kareem’s Goggles and Stockton’s Short Shorts Basketball Blog. At the time, I didn’t realize it would grow to become the trillest and most debaucherous basketball blog on the Internet. But the more I think about it, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Today marks the anniversary of the blog and to celebrate I’ve invited you the readers to a special edition of the mailbag. I’ll save all the sappy anniversary talk for the end. In the meantime, you know the drill. Real readers. Real questions. Real shit. Let’s get to work.
 
How much is KD being slept on?—Matt L.
 
Here’s the thing I don’t understand, how could anyone sleep on Kevin Durant? Did it really only take one injury plagued season to make everyone forget that he is the best player on the planet that isn’t named LeBron?
There’s two reasons why I think KD is being slept on. First off, as I detailed in my intriguing players to watch, foot injuries for big men are extremely scary. Bill Walton, Yao Ming, and even lesser talent like Brook Lopez, were never able to maintain health after experiencing breaks in their feet. On one hand, Durant doesn’t weigh as much as your prototypical 6’10” NBA player, but he also moves much differently. While his feet don’t have to experience the weight and pounding that NBA bigs do, he is also cutting, jumping, moving laterally, and sprinting more than a guy his size usually does. Which is scary because we’ve never seen how a foot injury can impact a guy like Durant. A lot of people believe that KD’s height combined with his shooting and handle is what makes him unique, which is pretty spot on. However, I would argue that Durant’s speed, agility, and coordination at that height is truly what makes him unique. If his foot is messed up and can’t ever get right, suddenly Durant loses a big advantage in his game.
So that’s one reason. The other reason? The Thunder are rapidly approaching Trailblazer levels of unluckiness. It is mind blowing that this team has only been to one NBA Finals since their first playoff appearance in 2010. Maybe this is an idea for a later piece, but if you go through the history of the Thunder since 2012, you’ll find an alarming number of bad breaks (coupled with horrendous front office moves). My theory? Sonics karma. That’s right my Seattle readers, whatever bad juju you are sending towards OKC is definitely working and the basketball Gods feel your pain. That’s the only logical explanation.
 
With that said, KD will probably stay healthy this year and basically Hiroshima the NBA on his way to an MVP and NBA Finals appearance. The juju can only do so much Seattle, but I don’t discourage you from still trying.
 
One question I would love to have answered is...
How many more years does Philadelphia give Sam Hinkie to "tank" before being fired?—Tyler R.
 
Being a Lakers fan is going to be rough this season, but at least I can go to bed at night knowing that my team is actually trying to be good. Well, try might be a stretch. There’s at least a degree of effort involved is what I’m trying to say. That cannot be said for the Philadelphia 76ers, whom seem to be in phase 87 of their decade long rebuilding plan. It’s gotten so bad that Tyler put the term tank in quotation marks, as if to suggest that tanking isn’t even the right word for it anymore. We all know what tanking is, no one knows what the hell is going on Philly.
How can you not trust a face like that, Tyler?
 
Sam Hinkie, for those that don’t know, has crafted this master plan that revolves around acquiring as many assets as possible and collecting talent through the draft. This usually requires organizations to build non-competitive teams during the season in order to have the chance to grab the best talent in the draft. The worse a team’s record, the better chance they have of getting the highest pick. The Sixers have spent the past few years executing this part of the plan as well as the Spurs execute a pin down screen action (hurray basketball jargon!). But that’s not all! After all, any jackass can be hired to nose dive a team. You need a special kind of jackass that will make a ridiculous number of trades and stockpile draft picks. Trying to weed through the web of transactions is about as easy as making sense of John Nash’s hallucinations of math formulas, but I’m a man of the people so here’s a list of picks the Sixers currently possess:
2016: Four 1st round picks (Own, Lakers, Miami, OKC), Denver’s 2nd round pick
2017: Their own 1st and 2nd round picks, for now
2018: Own 1st round, three 2nd round (own, worst between Nets/ Cavs, worst between Clips/ Knicks)
Right to swap 1st round picks with the Kings in next two drafts, as well as a future Kings 1st rounder (top 10 protected)
 
There’s literally 10 other future picks the Sixers have that I didn’t even mention but you get the idea. I think the fate of Hinkie will depend on how he does in next year’s draft, where he will likely have his own lottery pick, probably the Lakers pick (top 3 protected), and Miami’s pick as well (top 10 protected but I think  Miami will be one of the better teams out East). So that’s potentially THREE lottery picks and likely another first rounder from the Thunder. Granted there is a chance the Lakers land in the top 3 and Miami will probably not land in the lottery, but still, a blindfolded goat should still be able to hit on at least one of those picks. If Hinkie somehow blows that draft, by perhaps drafting yet another injured big man or another point guard that can’t shoot, I think it’s safe to assume ownership will trust someone else with all those draft picks and assets. In the meantime, trust the process.
 
 
Derek Fisher Questions;
 1. Is he the first coach fired this year?
 2. Is his reputation as a teammate tarnished by kicking it with Matt Barnes ex wife?
 3. Who wins in the octagon Matt Barnes or D Fish?—Kevin R.
 
1) Fisher would seem like a solid bet to be the first one fired. However, he’s one of Phil’s guys so he’s got probably another full season under his belt. Unless Phil decides to pull a Pat Riley and boots Fisher so he can coach the team himself and win a championship. But the Knicks are pretty far from winning a championship so Fish should be ok. The first coach to be fired? How about George Karl? Come on, you wouldn’t be shocked in the least if the most erratic franchise in basketball jettisoned their coach for no logical reason. I mean, they fired Mike Malone after he got the Kings off to their best start in literally a decade, before DeMarcus Cousins got hit with that meningitis. And that was the only coach Boogie has ever liked and gotten along with! George and Boogie have already butted heads and Vivek has proven he handles commitment about as well as Big Pun (he’s not a player he just crush a lot). My other choice? Byron Scott, because holy shit no one in that organization has a plan so he seems like the logical fall guy for when shit almost certainly hits the fan.
Especially once they realize WE COULD'VE HAD PHIL THIS WHOLE TIME!
 
You know what’s funny? The more that I think about this question, the more I realize that this year might be the safest year for coaches. For starters, there’s already a bunch of coaches that just got fired, so I doubt those first year coaches are going to lose their jobs instantly. Well, except for maybe Billy Donavon if he royally fucks up the Thunder and loses KD in the process. Second, there are head coaches that are also their own bosses (IE Doc, Stan Van Gundy, Flip Saunders) so they can’t, and won't, fire themselves. Third, guys like Terry Stotts, Rick Carlisle, and Erik Spolestra are too good of coaches to be let go, even though Stotts and Carlisle will likely be coaching lottery teams this year. Actually, you know a name that just popped in my mind that could be a hot seat candidate? Frank Vogel of the Indiana Pacers. Sure, they are kind of rebuilding on the fly and it’s still up in the air what Paul George will be like this year, but it was only two seasons ago that the Pacers were in the Eastern Conference Finals. Expectations have been set and if Vogel stumbles out the gate, he can be the first one out. Wait, what were we talking about? Oh yeah!
 
 
2) This is by far one of the strangest stories we’ve heard in a long time. While there’s this whole “Bro Code” element to the story, what’s really unsettling is Matt Barnes side of the story, which describes his son Face Timing him and being visibly distressed. This is allegedly the real reason Barnes went to the house. Now, I don’t know what happened and I don’t want to speculate, but this definitely makes the story stranger than it already is. I mean, we’ve seen how Barnes interacts with his sons, he loves the fuck out of them, so why would he make that up and involve them in the story? But I digress.
Anyways, this does not hurt D Fish’s rep as a teammate. It DOES besmirch his already shaky reputation as a coach because this is downright unprofessional. But as a teammate? No, there’s almost nothing that can take that reputation away because he has too many Hall of Famers backing him up. Shaq, Phil, and Kobe have all been on record talking about the pivotal role Fisher played in maintaining some degree of peace in the locker room during the tumultuous Shaq-Kobe era. Shit, besides maybe Pau, Fisher might be the only teammate Kobe has ever actually liked. You've got to be a hell of a teammate to earn that designation.
3) Barnes definitely has the reach advantage considering he’s long and 6’7”. Barnes has also earned a less than favorable reputation for constantly stirring things up but, to his credit, has never actually thrown a punch in the NBA. However, his reputation as a fighter is validated because Jonathan Motherfucking Abrams wrote an article about it, and whatever the Abes says is absolute truth. However, Fisher’s low center of gravity combined with his swollness and ability to make the big play when it matters may give him the slight edge in the octagon. I mean, you remember what he did to Luis Scola, right?
 
 
Who do you predict will win this year's MVP, DPOY, ROY, 6th man, Most Improved, Coach of the Year and a bonus for the passionate readers who will be this year's NBA Finals MVP—Chanse P.
 
The timing of this question was actually pretty funny because I literally posted our preseason award picks as this question was submitted. In most cases I would’ve just left it at that and moved on. However, Chanse has been fucking with the blog since day one and always contributes to the mailbag. So to borrow from Snoop Dogg, “I got you cuuhhhhh.” Since some of these were answered in the last post, I won’t elaborate on those picks.
MVP- Kevin Durant
DPOY- Draymond Green: I think Kawhi Leonard is the most destructive defensive player in the NBA and maybe in the past ten years. He’s seriously that good of a defender. However, Draymond Green’s versatility in defending multiple positions is changing the game of basketball as we speak. Plus Draymond has become a household name, unlike Leonard, because Kawhi allows himself to only say 60 words per week. Draymond will be boisterous and campaigning for himself all season, which let’s be honest, is going to be very entertaining. Best believe he’ll back up his talk too.
 
ROY- Answer revealed in a later question.
6th Man- Nikola Mirotic: This award usually goes to a player on one of the better teams in the league, and this player needs to be able to score. Mirotic isn’t the flashiest offensive player, but he has the potential to be the best player on the second unit of a contender.
Most Improved- CJ McCollum: Trying to pick this award is an absolute crapshoot. It makes sense to predict a former lottery pick that will be given more minutes and more responsibility. And after Portland broke up the best starting lineup in the NBA, best believe they are going to need CJ to step up.
 
 
Coach of the Year- Brad Stevens: Popovich should win this award every year but that’s boring. Brad Stevens slowly bringing the Celtics back to relevancy by playing smart basketball? That’s entertaining. Also, Stevens can coach his fucking ass off. This dude is brilliant. The Celtics could be primed to build off of last season’s pseudo-success (hurray, you made the playoffs in the East and got swept in the first round. Here, have a cookie). If the Celtics make a run up the standings, combined with the media’s East coast bias, and I think Stevens will win the award. Or at least I think he should, because like I said he’s the real deal.
Finals MVP- Here’s the thing, asking this question pretty much makes me predict who is going to win the championship, and that’s honestly something I’m not ready to jump on quite yet. Once I finish up the complete season preview for each team, I’ll have that answer. However, I’ll give you my gun-to-my-head-gut-feeling answer: Russell Westbrook. Call me crazy but that name just came to me, and somehow it makes sense.  
 
Kings breaking the playoff drought this year, will make it as the 7th/8th seed. Heard it here first—Johnny L.
 
Go home, Johnny! You're drunk!
 
Although… *starts investigating rosters. Makes the “Not Bad” face from the Obama memes. Sips from cup* Ok, so maybe your confidence in the Kings isn’t solely a product of drinking one too many Mike’s Hard Lemonades. This is by far the most talented roster the Kings have rolled out in a long time. I’m going to talk about DeMarcus Cousins in the next question but I’m pretty sure he’s going to be the most dominant center in the game next season. Rajon Rondo will be looking to steer his career in the right direction after his incredible free fall from All-Star to locker room cancer. Darren Collison is a very good backup point guard. Willie Cauley-Stein will be able to impact on the defensive end right away. Rudy Gay could build on a surprisingly good 2014-2015 season. Ben McLemore might be ready to make a leap…
 
 
Here’s the harsh reality though: The Kings play in the murderous Western Conference. Off the top of my head, in no particular order, the Kings would have to bypass the Thunder, Warriors, Clippers, Spurs, Grizzlies, Rockets, Pelicans, and the Jazz (yeah I said it). Taking away the Jazz, that’s seven teams that are for sure better than the Kings. I’m not even sold that the Kings are better than the Mavericks, Suns, Nuggets, or even the Blazers. Which means that the only teams the Kings could possibly be better than are the Lakers and the Timberwolves. You know what, they could leapfrog the Blazers. I’ll give you that, but as you can see, Sactown is going to need a lot of things to break their way to sneak into the playoffs. Let’s revisit this next year, Johnny.
 
1) What 15 players make up the All NBA teams this season (you can put them on first, second, third teams if you want) and why?
2) What's more likely, Boogie and Rondo become Stockton and Malone OR one of them literally murders the other one?
3) Who is your sleeper team in each conference this season? (You aren't allowed to say the Lakers, because they're comatose, not sleeping)—Zach R.
1)
First Team


G- Steph Curry: This is the most disregard a defending champion and reigning MVP has ever received coming into a season. Everyone wants to chalk up the Warriors’ championship to luck and people, including myself, are looking elsewhere for this year’s MVP award winner. He’s called the Baby Faced Assassin for a reason and he’s going to remind the league how great he was last season.
G- Russell Westbrook: That’s right, I said it! We’re all talking about the scorched Earth KD is going to leave in his wake, but everyone is forgetting that his teammate is equally as destructive when things are clicking for him. I think Russell is going to have a season that’s too good to be ignored.
F- Kevin Durant: We’ve covered this plenty the past couple of weeks. The plagues in Exodus (the bible, not the movie) won’t have shit on what KD is about to do.
F- LeBron James: You have no idea how much this pains me to bump Anthony Davis, whom is expected to go supernova this year, to the second team. Unfortunately, I can’t discuss LeBron having an MVP caliber season in one post, then bump him off the first team in another. Plus who would dare not vote for him on first team?! This is the same group (coaches) that voted Kobe to All-Defensive teams for two seasons after he clearly stopped caring about defense. So I see Bron on first team for like the next six seasons based on name alone.
C- DeMarcus Cousins: Can we just agree that Boogie is the best pure center in the NBA? I mean, Marc Gasol, whom I almost went with here, is definitely a better passer and defender than Boogie. However, Cousins is an absolute force playing with a bigger chip on his shoulder than he usually does this season. He will be revitalized after either Karl gets fired or the Kings trade him…to the LAKERS!!!! (Apologies, I’ve been drinking. I’ll settle back down to reality).
 
Second Team: Before I go any further, this All-NBA Second Team would be good enough to be the First Team in most years. To describe the current state of the NBA, I’m going to borrow from Drake and emphasis, “What a time! To be alive!”
G- Chris Paul: Is CP3 starting to decline a little bit? Yes, he’s 30 with a long history of knee problems. With that said, he’s still probably the most effective point guard in the NBA, playing on one of the most explosive teams in the league.
G- James Harden: SWAAAAGGGG!!! James Harden is still going to be an absolute frustration to defend as he’ll hit threes, get to the basket, and draw enough fouls that you’ll want to gauge your eyes out. In other words, he’s going to be just as good as last season. If not for Westbrook and Durant fulfilling their Shaq and Kobe prophecy, Harden would make the first team.
F- Blake Griffin: When Blake has it going, he’s an absolute monster. Imagine if you put Russell Westbrook in Karl Malone’s body, and that’s what you get when Blake Griffin is firing on all cylinders. As far as the conversation for best power forward is concerned he’s, at worst, in the top three but he’s likely the second best power forward behind…
F- Anthony Davis: Why. Why can’t you just play center so we can get you on the first team, AD? The breakout star of last season will still be one of the best players in the game, just not good enough to edge a healthy Durant and LeBron.
C- Marc Gasol: The dude can do everything! That’s all that needs to be said about the big Spaniard.
 
Third Team
G- John Wall: My pick to be this season’s Anthony Davis. As I wrote in the preseason awards, Wall is probably the best two way point guard in the league. An extremely gifted passer, blinding transition speed, and a menace on the defensive end. As soon as his jump shot gets on point he’ll be prime to enter the discussion for best point guard in the league.
G- Jimmy Butler: Many, including myself, have no idea what is going on in Chicago right now. But Jimmy Butler is convinced he’s the answer to any and all issues that may be arising in Chitown. If there’s ever a safe bet in the NBA, it’s that Jimmy is going balls to the walls every night. Once this kid puts his mind to something, there’s nothing getting in his way.
F- Kawhi Leonard: Am I tripping?  Or did the acquisition of LaMarcus Aldridge cause every to forget about the 2014 Finals MVP? Last season saw Leonard banged up with injuries, but it was still enough to be the first perimeter player to win Defensive Player of the Year since Ron Artest. Being healthy this season, I think Leonard will actually be the best (most important/ consistent) player on the Spurs.
 
F- LaMarcus Aldridge: For a second it looked as though I was making the All-NBA Defensive team with Wall, Butler, and Leonard. Let’s get some offense in this bitch. While LA is no slouch defensively, his scoring and ability to draw a double team will be crucial to the success of the Spurs. I’ve been watching this dude for years, he’s definitely one of the best power forwards in the league.
C- DeAndre Jordan: Mainly because I can’t rationalize any other center taking this spot, except for maybe Tim Duncan. Never sleep on Timmy D.
 
2) Rondo and Boogie seem to actually get along really well. And when you think about it, they actually have pretty similar personalities. I don’t think they’ll be Stockton and Malone, maybe more like Starks and Ewing? I don’t know, I think they can actually play with each other, but the rest of the roster is just bizarre and raises concerns about spacing and yadayada analytics whatever. Basically I don’t think they’ll kill each other. What they might do is band together and murder the entire front office, capping it off by walking into Mayor Kevin Johnson’s office with Vivek’s head on a stake and a message, “We’re finally free.”
 
 
3) First off, you leave my Lakers alone, Zach. Them are fighting words. Now, trying to pick a sleeper in the West is impossible because to some degree every team is getting slept on. Also, how do you define a sleeper for the West? Is it a team that unexpectedly makes the playoffs? Or is the sleeper the playoff team that can blitz their way to the Finals? Or is it both? Because there is a team out there that scraped into the playoffs last season and has just enough to make a crazy run: The New Orleans Pelicans. This would require Jrue Holiday being healthy, Anthony Davis somehow jumping to another level, other teams catching some unlucky breaks with injuries, and Alvin Gentry conjuring up the magic of his 2010 Western Conference Finals run with Phoenix. Or as the haters like to call this: the 2015 Warriors formula.
Besides the Cavs, we’re pretty much sleeping on the entire Eastern Conference, as we rightfully should. I think the Wizards and the Heat have good shots to make the Conference Finals. I’m excited for the Bucks and I think they could definitely make some noise. The Pacers should be able to make the playoffs this year. But the team I’m slowly getting sold on as a sleeper? The Orlando Magic! Sure, they’re super young and have a new coach in all-time hard ass Scott Skiles, but something is there. Rookie Super Mario Hezonja could make some serious noise, and the backcourt of Payton and Oladipo can still live up to the best-defensive-backcourt hype, especially with Skiles as the coach. I don’t think this team is going to the Finals, or even the Conference Finals, but they could make the biggest turn around and jump into the playoff picture.
Oh, and then there’s also the Celtics, but I'm not ready to admit that they might actually be pretty good this year.
 
If you were an astronaut on another planet with zero gravity and you met some aliens, how would you communicate what basketball is to them and how awesome it is?—Jason D.
 
Excellent. Fucking. Question.
This is what the mailbag is all about. And really, this is what the blog is all about. Let’s dive in. So one thing that stood out to me is the qualifier that this planet has zero gravity. The first thing I would need to do is get them to a planet like Earth,  so that they can understand and appreciate what gravity does to us. Because if there is one thing that anyone can appreciate about the game of basketball, it’s the sight of seeing a human being flying through the air. It’s why players like Julius Erving and Michael Jordan are household names, because they were able to defy gravity and float through the air. The slam dunk is somewhat underappreciated. I remember someone trying to say that dunking isn’t impressive in the NBA because the players are so tall. While the players are freakishly tall, what most people don’t consider is how far away a lot of these guys jump.
 
 
Basketball is an incredible game because at the professional level, in my opinion, you see the most complete display of athleticism. You’re watching people at the average height of 6’8” display unreal coordination, speed, agility, lateral quickness, leaping ability, and strength. In what other sport do you see people of that size doing all of these things? It’s really hard to understand the size of these players without seeing it up close. For instance, I’m 6’3” and in most situations I’m one of the tallest people in the room. Steph Curry, whom looks tiny on TV, is actually the same height as me. I remember seeing Andre Iguodala up close while he was on the Nuggets and being blown away at just how jacked dude was. These guys are specimens, athletes that if they put their mind to it could probably be Olympians.
 
The game itself is a beautiful thing. It’s the quintessential team game that also allows for individualism. It has positions just like every other team sport, but the player’s roles aren’t limited based on those positions. By definition, a small forward doesn’t bring the ball up the court and initiate the offense, but a transcendent talent like LeBron can do that despite his position. Odell Beckham might be an incredible receiver, but he can’t just decide to play quarterback because he’s the best player on the team. And while individualism is encouraged in basketball, the team aspect is equally, if not more, important to achieving actual success. Because there’s only 15 players on a roster and only five players are allowed on the court at a time, these teams are usually extremely close knit. Roles can be easily defined and it’s easy for casual fans to follow who does what because there aren’t a ton of players on the court at once.
But if I had to drive the point home, I would show them game six of the 2013 NBA Finals. That game contains everything I just described: drama filled, amazing feats of athleticism, unselfish teamwork, transcendent individualism, a back and forth battle, and an iconic ending. If they watch that and can’t appreciate the game of basketball then I’m convinced intelligent life doesn’t exist outside of Earth.
 
So taking this from your original blog, “Iverson was the poster boy of the NBA’s image issues, often painted as a thug that embodied everything wrong with the game…” who is the new “thug” and is it legit or trumped up?—Traci P.
 
Here’s the thing, I don’t think the NBA has an image issue anymore. A lot of that has to do with a stern dress code, as well as the league cracking down heavily on physical altercations and things of that nature. It also helps that the NFL seems to have an egregious scandal every two weeks. But more than anything, the times have changed. When Iverson was the MVP of the league, for the most part, white America was still terrified of guys with tattoos and baggy clothing. In other words, black people. It wasn’t so much that Iverson was a thug, he just LOOKED like how white America defined a thug. And really that’s the main difference between now and then.
 
In today’s society, it seems like a majority of young people have at least one tattoo. In the NBA, it’s pretty damn hard to find a player that doesn’t have any tattoos. But it isn’t as simple as tattoos being socially acceptable now. After all, Toni Kukoc, a white dude from Croatia, played in the 90’s with a tattoo. A lot of it has to do with the media’s portrayal of the players and that has changed dramatically. For starters, there’s a lot more black men and women working for ESPN and other sports media outlets. It’s still an industry dominated by older white men (as is many professions), but these new voices have changed the perception of a lot of athletes. They’re able to distinguish a difference between being black and being a thug, which is something media, and to a larger extent America, was not able to do when Iverson was at his zenith.
 
 
Now, this in no way suggests that there are no thugs in the NBA. It’d be ignorant to assume that none of these players have never been involved in that kind of life. Hell, Z Bo and Ron Artest are still running around the league. But again, to my point, those guys have managed to stay out of trouble and have proven they're actually genuinely good dudes. The closest to a current day Iverson I can think of is maybe Matt Barnes and that is totally blown out of proportion. For starters, his reputation isn’t nearly as damning as Iverson’s was. Second, as talked about earlier, no one has ever seen Matt Barnes actually throw a legitimate punch in an NBA game, even though his reputation is stemmed from how often he’s involved in scuffles. Me suggesting that the negative perception of Barnes is on the same level as Iverson is the biggest stretch I’ve made in this mailbag and I’ve already said (and will continue to say) some pretty crazy shit.
 
Will Damian Lillard bounce back from last year's shooting slump? Is he going to be as good without Aldridge (and everyone else)? And am I correct in believing that he is the best rapper the NBA has ever produced?—Maneesh A.
 
What a lot of people don’t know is that freestyle rapping is a very popular way for NBA players to pass the time on the road. It makes sense, after all everyone now knows that’s rappers want to be ballers and ballers want to be rappers. What a lot of these hoopers don’t realize is that there’s a big difference between spitting with your homeboys or teammates and actually getting in the booth to lace a track. Dame has seemed to master this transition. He definitely has the bars, flow, and style of an Oakland rapper. If you need more proof, check him out on Sway in the Morning. I’m just waiting for him and Too $hort to hook up for a collaboration. But alas, we can’t get everything we want in life.
 
As for the shooting woes, I don’t know how that’s going to play out. Dame’s shooting last season was rough to say the least (43% from the field, 34% from three). Part of this is because Dame likes to pull off the dribble, which isn’t the most accurate way to shoot, especially from distance. But what’s equally disturbing, if you’re a Blazers fan, is that he shot this poorly playing with the best starting lineup in the NBA, in a system that favors spacing and open looks. While Dame will definitely miss the attention LaMarcus Aldridge drew on the block, he will also get way more shots with LaMarcus gone. In my opinion, he’s going to miss Wesley Matthews and Nic Batum more than Aldridge, at least in the scope of getting better looks. Matthews was a sharpshooter that could also post up and slash. In other words, defenses were more than preoccupied trying to contain the Ironman. As for Batum, despite being abysmal last season, Dame benefitted from Nico’s ability to make plays and find open shooters. Playing without those two wings and replacing them with Gerald Henderson and CJ McCollum (keep an eye on him, potential most improved winner), Dame will find himself not getting nearly as easy of looks. And of course, without Aldridge, Dame becomes the focal point of every defense. Dame will still get numbers, but his shooting is probably going to stay the same, and could possibly get worse.
 
Who will be the nba rookie of the year, and is this the year Kobe steps into more of a role playing position?—Sam R.
 
I can’t make up my mind if Karl-Anthony Towns or Emmanuel Mudiay will be the Rookie of the Year. I feel like when it comes to, if this term even makes sense, immediate potential impact, I think it’s these two that will be the most impactful of the rookies. On one hand, Towns will be sharing the floor with last season’s Rookie of the Year in Andrew Wiggins, as well as a bunch of other promising young players. So while the team will be mostly a bunch of young bucks running around and trying to figure out who’s good, who isn’t, and who is Hassem Thabeet in disguise, at least they have pass-first, veteran point guard Ricky Rubio to guide them. Having a point guard that can get Towns his shots will help the Wolves and Towns’ case as ROY. Mudiay is in the opposite situation, he has to be that kind of point guard in a system full of veterans. While that does offer him a more stable environment to grow and develop as a player, it’s a lot of responsibility to jump into an offense and take over as a rookie. With that said, Mudiay already has a year of professional basketball under his belt, which should help minimize the growing pains most of the other rookies will experience. Towns will have better numbers, but Mudiay could be more impactful to improving his team’s record, which means we could have a LeBron/ Melo circa 2004 situation.
 
As for Kobe, I see hell freezing over before he turns into a “role player”. I put that in quotes because when most people say that term, they are thinking of the Shane Battier-Robert Horry type of players. These are the guys that take a minimal amount of shots and mostly just stays out of the star player’s way. The day Kobe takes the least amount of shots on any team is the day David Stern admits he fixed the 1985 NBA Draft Lottery.
The main reason for this is because at the end of the day, he’s still the best player on the team. Which as a Lakers fan, I admit this isn’t ideal. Actually let me rephrase that, as of right now he’s still the best player and the undisputed star of the team. There, that’s a little better. Anyways, Kobe is the default star because this roster is half unproven and the other half utterly bizarre. I mean, there’s going to be moments where Kobe, Lou Williams, and Nick Young are on the floor at the same time. That’s three notorious gunners that are going to have to figure out that only one of them are allowed to shoot at a time.
 
 
Now, can I see Kobe adjusting his role into more of a playmaker and passer? Sure, I could buy that. After all, the Lakers did draft D’Angelo Russell with the expectation that he’s going to be the next superstar once Kobe retires. And I know I’m going to catch flack for saying this but it’s true: Kobe Bryant is an underrated passer. I’m not saying he passes a lot, there’s a difference. I am saying that when he does make passes, they’re usually right on the money. If he wants to play like that he definitely could. But if Russell is slow coming out of the gate and the Lakers are down 30 points every game (because let’s face it their defense is going to be terrible), best believe Kobe is going into 2k mode and shooting until his arm falls off. Which leads to what I think this question is really trying to get at: Are the days of Kobebeing a one man wrecking crew over? The answer to this, as I’ve said before, is yes. I think Kobe will be a 20 point scorer, with the occasional throwback game where he scores 35 or more, but it will come at a high volume and when the Lakers have almost certainly lost the game. Because like I said, that defense is going to be so bad I might just check into AA now and save myself the trouble.
 
What do you think of Martell Webster now becoming a rapper? Will he be another kobe/Chris webber type? Or do you think he's good enough to become a popular performer one day?—Adam S.
 
I read this question and immediately gave an audible “What the fuck?” This isn’t the typical WTF that would suggest “Why on Earth would he do that?” No, this was the opposite. This was a “What the fuck, HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS?!?!”
While I’m no expect when it comes to NBA players turned rappers, I still feel like I have a pulse on who is doing what. I was a Martell supporter while he was a Blazer, mainly because he was great at having those three games a year that made you say, “He’s finally tapping into his potential, he’s exactly what the Blazers need!!” only to be relatively unremarkable every other game. He kept us on our toes, even when he left the Blazers and went on to grow the haircut that, I assume, inspired The Weekends current look.
 
So now that I know Martell Webster is fucking rapping I had to look into this. Like most cats entering the hip-hop game, Martell elected to ditch his given name and go by, um, Sui Generis, which according to my hazy memories of high school French class means “I’m nice”. After some Googling, I determined it’s actually Latin for “In a class of its own” which shows how much I actually paid attention in French class. But linguistic slacking aside, I’m not keen on the name and am not sure where exactly this rabbit whole is taking me. Let’s check out the video…
Sooo, there’s that…I’ll be honest, Youtube stopped playing the video like halfway through and there was a small part of me that felt like it was a mercy kill. Was it the worst? No. Was it good? I’ll put it this way, I’m glad I listened to it sober so I can have an honest opinion on it. But that’s the thing about hip-hop, sometimes you need a few drinks in you to really feel the music. Martell, I’m giving you one more shot…while I take a couple of shots myself.
*Eight shots, two Mollies, and a cup of lean later*
 
 
 
Well, we made it! Thanks again to everyone who contributed to this mailbag and thank you to everyone that read this post or any of the other things I’ve posted in the past. As mentioned in the beginning, this is the anniversary of this blog. This will be the beginning of year three and with a new year will come some changes. So I’d like to announce that we’re moving! Again! That’s right, thanks to the internet savvy of fellow writer Matt Lyons, whom has created a new site, we will be posting on a more consistent basis. When this new site will be up and running is TBD, all I know is that it’ll be soon because, according to Matt, “I wanna pull a Kendrick and drop some hot shit outta nowhere.” Works for me! Be ready for us to drop our season previews under the cover of night on some Beyoncé shit.
I’m looking forward to working more with Matt and really buckling down and writing as often as I can. With that said, I want to take the moment to sincerely thank some people and give some shout outs. First off, I want to thank the people I bounce my ideas off of and talk hoops with. People like Endurance, Maria, Kevin Read, of course Matt, my dad Reggie, and Michauex. You guys help get my wheels turning and being able to speak the language of basketball with you helps with how I write. Shout out to all the readers I’ve gained along the way. Sometimes it’s shocking to me how many people tell me they read my stuff. It helps my confidence and definitely encourages me to keep growing as a writer and seeing where this takes me. Huge motherfucking shout out to all the day one readers! You know who you are and the fact that you guys have stuck with me this long means the fucking world to me. Thank you! Shout out to Jessica Mauicone, Keya Mitra, and Todd Marshall, three professors that helped develop my writing throughout college. I know a profane basketball blog probably wasn’t what you guys had in mind when you were given me tips but I hope I’ve made you proud. Shout out to my roommate Crystal, my ride or die homie Cassie, E and Tyler, Tyler’s dog Pita, and everyone else that helps keep me level on an everyday basis. This writing stuff can get stressful sometimes and I definitely don’t take what you guys do for granted. Shout out to my fantasy league, whom I draft against tonight. I hope you’re ready for me and my team: My Black Magic Johnson.
I’m sure I forgot some people and I apologize for that. Please know I appreciate all the love and support everyone has shown me (like my mom Julie sharing my posts, even though I can only imagine how often she rolls her eyes at the swearing. Love you, Mom! Haha). Looking forward to another year of raising hell on the Internet. Long live the trillest blog in America.
 
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Tuesday, October 13, 2015

2015-2016 NBA Preseason Award Picks

It's that time of year to start previewing the NBA season and making predictions on who is going to win what award. While basketball nerds like myself are curious who the Sixth Man of the Year might be, I realized that most people probably don't even know that award exists, let alone what a sixth man is. Since this is America's favorite shenanigan-filled basketball blog, me and Matt Lyons created a few preseasons awards that the people are truly curious about. Of course we do cover the basics awards, so let's go ahead and dive into...

Preseason MVP pick:


 
RJ:
 

Are you ready for a season full of 2014 déjà vu? Well you should be because it’s going to come down to a race between KD and LeBron this year for the award. I know you’re thinking, “Well gee, weren’t there like 6 candidates last year? And wasn’t it one of the closest races in history?” While there’s an outside chance that you bring up a good point that may be relevant, last season doesn’t matter because there was no Durant last year and LeBron knew he didn’t need to give a shit until February (literally, he went on vacation in the MIDDLE OF THE SEASON!!! That’s some shit that’ll earn a spot in the Team Fuck It Hall of Fame someday).

We both agree that KD is going to smite the league for doubting him this season so he’ll be a front runner for the award based on that alone. But keep in mind who actually votes for the award: the media. And if Hollywood has taught us anything, people in the entertainment industry will always go back to the well and recycle the same story if the opportunity arises. KD and LeBron were supposed to be this generations Bird and Magic. This is supposed to be the rivalry that defined both careers, which means the media will help fulfill that prophecy if LeBron shows up and does LeBron stuff for a full season. And he might have to considering the uncertainty surrounding Kyrie and Kevin Love.

If it’s not going to be either of these two players, then look for Harden to sneak his way in and steal the award. But if I had to make a preseason pick, KD seems like the lock if he can stay healthy. If he does experience a setback then basically expect last year all over again with Harden winning.



Matt:

If I’m going to pick an MVP, I’m actually going to go outside of KD and LeBron. It may not be the popular decision, but we saw LeBron coast until the playoffs last year and there’s no reason for that not to happen again. He’s mentioned he doesn’t need to take over during the season. Love needs to prove his worth to this team, and he will see a bigger role without Kyrie. Durant on the other hand will come back with something fierce. He was forgotten about completely last year with people all over the league stepping up. The problem with that is Russ Westbrook was one of those people. Russ will continue to be confident and do what he does best, which is be an athlete and take everybody 1-on-1 when he needs to.

Watch out for Blake Griffin this year. Blake has slowly turned himself into a 20/7/5 guy last year, and he is a few months away from 27. This year he’ll have Pierce in the offense to space out the Clippers just a little bit more in the half-court offense which can give Blake some more room on the inside. His free throw percentage has gone up every year as well. He’ll average around 24/9/6 this year on a team that will win over 50 games. Along the way he will post up highlights that we are used to and will see on Vine everyday. This award is either LBJ’s or KD’s to lose, and I think that happens this year.



Which rookies are you excited for?

Matt:

D’ Angelo Russell, D’ Angelo Russell, D’ Angelo Russell, and Justice Winslow.
 

D’ Angelo will be a passing guard this year on a Lakers team that will struggle to move the ball. Swaggy P, Lou Willaims, and the 93rd ranked player in the NBA by ESPN, Kobe Bryant. Russell will beat out Clarkson as the lead ball handler for the Lakers and will be relied upon to get things going. The playmaking ability he demonstrated at Ohio State was fascinating to watch and he made it seem effortless. He can shoot the 3, go off the bounce, and provide next level passing on a team that will need it.

Winslow is a guy I want to see simply for the reason that Miami thinks they have struck gold with this pick based on the value of getting him at #10. I listen to the LeBetard show podcast (centered in Miami) each night before I pass out from playing too much Madden, and let’s just say they believe Winslow can help take Miami to the Eastern Conference Finals and potentially dethrone The King. Honestly, I’ve never been big on Winslow and thought he was a tad overrated on a Duke team that was great at every position. It’ll be interesting to see how he does on a Heat team that has no true star (Bosh coming off a very serious injury and Dragic, a disappointing season in both PHX and MIA).


RJ:

Obviously I’m excited for D’Angelo Russell, because pretty much my happiness and sanity for the next decade will depend on whether or not he’s any good. I don’t think my liver can handle another couple bad Lakers seasons.
 

I’m with you on Winslow because it is weird that he fell that far in the draft. You know who else took a strange plummet down the draft boards? Stanley Johnson, now a member of Stan Van Gundy’s crew of flunkies in Detroit. As far as physical tools goes, Johnson is the most prepared perimeter player of this rookie class. He drew comparisons to LeBron James in the open court while running fast breaks for the University of Arizona and that’s pretty spot on. This dude is a freight train. But he’s not limited to just dunking in transition. Johnson has the tools to be a capable defender, as well as he is already a natural scorer. You don’t need to run him off of a bunch of screens or clear out an entire side of the floor for him. He can become the type of guy you throw it to when the shot clock is running down and he’ll go get you a bucket. In theory, he’s a bigger D-Wade or even a circa 2001 Kobe when he decided to get like super jacked for no reason.

But let’s be honest with ourselves, we’re both truly excited for Kristaps Porzingis because how can you not be!!! He looks like a prepubescent Ivan Drago. He’s managed to piss off Carmelo already but at the same time allegedly has the potential to be the player that turns the Knicks around. Anytime I can watch the Knicks dig themselves an even deeper hole, count me the fuck in!
 


Breakout Star of the Year:

RJ:
Understand that when I say breakout, I’m not talking most improved. This isn’t the fringe NBA player that is suddenly not terrible. This isn’t the underachieving rookie that finally figured it out and became not useless. No, this is the Anthony Davis award. This is the All-Star that transforms into a whole other being. This is the Leap, capital L bruh. This is the player that we knew could be exceptionally great and then they actually become that. And my pick is another former number 1 pick from Lexington: John effing Wall.




I’m not sure when exactly this happened, but I’m all aboard the John Wall bandwagon. I think it started when I threw him into the top five point guard discussion in my last mailbag. And I was vindicated when he absolutely eviscerated the Raptors in the playoffs. Wall’s ability to penetrate a defense and find open shooters was on complete display as he assisted on half, LITERALLY HALF, of the Wizards baskets (50.3%). Then the dude fell on his wrist in game 1 versus the Hawks, had five non-displaced fractures in his left wrist, stayed in the game, won the game like a boss. The next game, after team doctors finally figured out his sprained wrist was actually super broken, Wall sat out and his team was blown off the floor by 16. Wall would eventually come back and play through his injury in games 5 and 6. He averaged 17.5 points, 10 assists, and 2 steals in those two games (albeit his shooting percentage was bad enough I had to bust out the thesaurus to describe it: harrowing).

Moral of the story, John Wall is a beast. And he is noticeably pissed off that he is about to be underpaid thanks to the massive upcoming bump in the salary cap. He’s going to treat every opposing point guard as if they’re Reggie Jackson and just demolish them. Also, Wall could be a sneaky candidate for Defensive Player of the Year next year. Mark my words my friend, mark my words.
 




Matt:

The Greek Freak. Giannis Antetokounmpo. He will break out in a big way this year. He’s going into his 3rd year in the league and is 20 years old. He’s shown flashes of being unstoppable in transition and his FG% shot up from 41% to 49% last year. He can’t shoot the 3, but he’s smart enough to not take them. His line last year was 12/2/6 which isn’t fantastic, but creates a lot of room for improvement and opportunity to be the alpha dog. Jabari Parker is coming back and Greg Monroe joined the squad; two good players who keep the D’s attention enough for Giannis to get to the hoop.
 

He’s too big and fast to not continue to make strides in his game and be a big contributor to a playoff team that can take that 2nd spot in the East behind Cleveland this year. He’ll probably never be the shooter or offensive playmaker that Kevin Durant is, but he can definitely be a 2nd tier version along with Paul George. Watch out for Giannis this year. He’ll be an All-Star, bring the highlights, and won’t even be able to drink until Dec 6th because that’s when he turns 21.

RJ: I cannot describe how excited I am for the prospect of drunk Giannis. Which leads me to our next award...


Who is going to be the TMZ MVP:

Matt:
 
 
The Sacramento Kings. Can a full team win this award? Holy shit this team is perfect for it. You have Boogie and Rondo mentoring Willie Cauley-Stein while Rudy Gay (watch out for Rudy this year) does his own thing. And the coach doesn’t even want one of the more underrated and great centers in the league with Boogie. DON’T FORGET ABOUT VLADE DIVAC IN THE FRONT OFFICE EITHER. This organization is just going to the best this year. Look for George Karl to go from bald to growing grey hairs because he just won’t know what to do.

In a close 2nd place, the other choice is James Harden. Simply for this: http://deadspin.com/james-hardens-drunk-as-hell-and-yelling-about-adidas-1731049472
 


RJ:

To answer your question: yes, a whole team can absolutely win this award. And yes, this team will be as hilariously drama filled as a marathon of “Love and Hip-Hop” episodes. Wily pick my friend, and I don’t think you’re entirely wrong. However, I’ll present these couple of facts to you: A) Sactown is a small market, which means TMZ won’t be hanging around there too much, unless an underage Kardashian starts dating Ben MacLemore B) TMZ loves hanging around Los Angeles C) Lance Stephenson now plays for the Clippers and lives in Los Angeles. Lemme hit that last point just one more time.

LANCE STEPHENSON AKA THE EIGHTH GRADER AKA BORN READY NOW LIVES IN LA!!!!!



Look, somehow we managed to catch wind of most of Lance’s shenanigans even when he was living in Indiana and North Carolina. In the bright lights of Los Angeles where media is around every corner? I rest my case!


What hypothetical headline seems ridiculous now but wouldn’t entirely surprise you?

RJ:

“Nick Young purchases white tigers for fiancé”

“Ty Lawson and James Harden refuse to leave Houston strip club”

“Tim Duncan’s key to longevity revealed: Shake Weight”

“Bryant finally snaps, murders everyone in practice facility”

“Secret recordings reveal Phil Jackson “Couldn’t give less of a fuck about the Knicks”’

“Donalds for 2016: Trump picks Sterling as running mate”

I had to stop after that last one because I had way too much fun imagining crazy scenarios in the NBA world. Unfortunately for us, strictly from an entertainment perspective, the NBA is not nearly as ludicrously unpredictable as the NFL. With that said, the most realistic headline is probably Kobe snapping and John Wick-ing everyone that happens to be in the building. Although let’s be honest, no one would be shocked if Nick Young bought a tiger. And I’m just gonna say it, Tim Duncan looks like the type of dude that would have a shake weight. With that said, the headline I really want to happen is Ty and Harden locking down a strip club for hours and refusing to leave. While Lawson’s alcohol issues is definitely nothing to joke about, it’s pretty hard to not want to root for a standoff between entourages and bouncers as James Harden and Ty Lawson sit shirtless on top of a couch while blacked out drunk, yelling SWWWWAAAGGGG, and throwing money all over the place as “Diamonds Dancing” blast in the background, for like 8 straight hours.



Matt:

“After Raptors slow start, the 6 God is the new 6th man.”

Drake has for too long been just a fan. He took this year off and played at Kentucky’s scrimmage last year. He may be no Steph Curry with the shot. Hell, I don’t even know if he can cook and be Chef Curry with the pot. What I do know though, is that the Raptors had a Drake themed night last season, so why would they not take it a step further?

“Porzingis spends time in Harlem at the Rucker to learn what being American entails.”

Personally, I like Porzingis. There is no way a kid like this is a bust. He’ll always be 7 feet tall, everybody becomes a better shooter with age, and he takes up enough space on the defensive side to suffice. He may not be star, but he’ll always be a rotation guy. Either way, what better way for him to earn respect in New York than to go tackle some games at the Rucker. The only sad part is he’s going to get bodied and may end up in one little fight. Let’s just hope he doesn’t get scared and go back to Europe.

“Local sideline reporter dick punches Coach Pop for refusing to answer question about female coach.”

It’s just a matter of time. I’m surprised this guy didn’t.

“Anthony Davis gets hair plugs for his unibrow. He comments ‘I hate living up to society’s expectations to keep this thing, but it’s easier that way.’”

“Dellevadova’s salary is literally a mouth guard and work VISA.”

This man is a bulldog sent from Australia on a business trip to bring his hard hat to work every day and play every game like it’s his last. He lives in the practice arena, practices floaters while his teammates dunk to show off. I’d rather have a guy work on his floaters than his floating. Am I right?

“Matt Barnes drives to his ex gf’s house and fights Derek Fisher.”

Shit. Matt Barnes already did that.

RJ: Well played, sir. Well played.




Who has pole position in the KD sweepstakes?

RJ:

This is going to be the biggest story of the season so we might as well jump on this story and start the speculation snowball. Allow me to start the paranoia freight train right now by reminding everyone that Russell Westbrook becomes a free agent after the 2016-2017 season. "But RJ how is this relevant?" Well, it would make sense, at least to me, that Durant would sign a one year deal at the end of this season and wait and see what Russell and the Thunder decide to do. In order for this scenario to happen, the Thunder have to be close to winning it all, but don’t quite get there. Even if they win it all this year, which is absolutely a possibility, this could still be the route he takes.
 

*Hot Take Mode: Engaged* However, anything less than a Finals run or if any type of shenanigans arise throughout the season, then Durant will go to the LakersRocketsWizardsKnicksHeat. If it becomes apparently clear that the Thunder cannot contend for a title and management has no plan in place to get them there, then Durant is going to split and go to one of those five teams. It was recently reported that the Lakers could have pole position in this sweepstakes. Then again they allegedly were in this position with Melo, LeBron, Marc Gasol, LaMarcus Aldridge, and any other remotely good free agent, and that plan worked out about as well as driving a NASCAR race six Four Lokos deep. The Knicks have a slim chance considering their market, but that deal is only getting done if Phil agrees to one more coaching stint, which he won’t. The Wizards SHOULD be in pole position since they are located in KD’s hometown and have John Wall, whom is basically Westbrook with more intangible point guard characteristics.



However, I would keep an eye on Houston and Miami. Houston GM Daryl Morey is like the NBA boogieman working in the shadows and snatching away valuable players to build his own super team. If anyone can structure a roster that maintains its depth while clearing cap space? It’s definitely this guy. Plus one of Durant’s best friends and former teammate happens to be on that team. And the Heat have Pat Riley, South Beach, boats and hoes, and possibly the Illuminati on their side, so they can’t ever be ruled out.


What storyline should we really be paying attention to?

Matt:

Draymond Green should be something to pay attention to. He was the key piece to Golden State’s championship success last year. Curry and Thompson did a lot on their own, but Green’s defense and the ability to match up with nearly anybody is something that few people in the league can do. That being said, I feel like the Cavs exposed him in the Finals by staying big. That philosophy didn’t work against the Warriors as a whole, but Draymond shined in only one game (the most important game). This year teams will have prepped for more small ball and we’ll see Draymond guard a healthy KD, LaMarcus Aldridge on the Spurs, Anthony Davis, Blake Griffin, and maybe Karl-Anthony Towns. The 4 spot in the NBA is beginning to be the next premier position. Point guards have been ruling for a while now, but the bigs are starting to develop into athletes. So watch and see what happens to Draymond playing against quality players like this in the West.
 
 


RJ:
 
I agree with you that Draymond is one to watch considering he also just got paid (albeit not nearly as much as he was expecting). Factor in the Warriors possibly looking at their own Tristan Thompson situation with Harrison Barnes, and Green does have more pressure on him. So while I agree with all the points you just made, I think the most interesting story line we need to pay attention to is the revenge of the 2014 draft class.



In summation, the 2014 draft class did not come close to the hype it received coming into the league. In fact, once Jabari Parker went down with a torn ACL, we pretty much gave Andrew Wiggins the award for Rookie of the Year on the spot and quit giving a damn, despite the fact Wiggins continued to have moments of awesomeness. But he was the only bright spot, along with Mirotic, last season for the rookies. A big reason for that is because almost everyone got hurt and missed huge chunks of the season. Sure, Dante Exum is putting a damper on my theory by tearing his ACL before training camp even started but fuck it! I think we’ll see leaps out of Parker, Wiggins, LaVine (now playing his natural position), Mirotic (ditto as LaVine), Julius Randle, Elfrid Payton, and Aaron Gordon. DON’T CALL IT A COMEBACK, THEY BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME!
 
 
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