I know you were probably expecting to see an action-packed,
profanity-laced, gifs-galore, preview for the Finals matchup between the Golden
State Warriors and the Cleveland Cavaliers. Curry vs. LeBron, Splash Bros.
heat-checks vs. JR Smith’s heat-checks (aka every shot JR ever takes in his
life), Andrew Bogut’s knee vs. Matthew Dellavedova. Are you ready for that
preview?!
Are you ready for some shredded ACL's, mate?!?!
Well if you are, you’re about to be severely disappointed
because I’m about to talk about some shit that happened a couple of weeks ago
to teams you probably don’t care about. I’m talking about the NBA Draft
Lottery, more specifically, the fact that the Los Angeles Lakers have the
number 2 pick in this upcoming draft. This is great for Laker nation
considering that a) This is the highest draft pick the Lakers have had since
James Worthy fell into their lap with the number 1 pick b) The Lakers got to
actually keep their pick because it fell within the top five. Had it gone higher
than five then the pick would have gone to the Sixers c) There are two big men available
that are considered “can’t miss” prospects in Karl-Anthony Towns and Jahlil
Okafor.
As a Lakers fan, of course I was excited. The number 2
pick?! You mean we might actually be good again?! Sign me up! As I was getting
giddy imagining what Okafor or Towns would look like next to a healthy Kobe and
Julius Randle, I was brought back to reality quickly. And what was once a
triumphant, Smell-What-The-Rock-Is-Cooking, fist in the air deteriorated to a
Zach LaVine-esque face slam against the desk.
If you look through NBA Draft History, the number 2 slot is
cursed. Let’s take a look at the number 2 picks since 2000 so that you can see
what I’m talking about. The number 1 pick in the draft is listed in
parenthesis.
2000-Stromile Swift (Kenyon Martin)
People forget how much of a beast Kenyon Martin was, but
nobody remembers Stromile Swift. I remember Stromile mostly because he was the
less talented version of Martin. Both liked headbands and over-aggressive
two-handed throw downs, but Martin helped Jason Kidd drag Byron Scott and the
Nets to two consecutive NBA Finals. Swift ,on the other hand, played for 9
seasons, peaking in year two averaging 11.8 points and 6.8 rebounds per game.
Of the 547 games he appeared in, he only started in 97 games. Does that sound
like a number 2 pick to you?
Of course, it’s not completely the Grizzlies fault that they
landed Stro. The best player in the draft ended up being Jamal Crawford, with
Martin being the second best. The third best? Either Mike Miller or Hedo
Turkoglu. The moral of the story, as always, is this draft was a dumpster fire and
almost ruined the NBA. Moving on.
2001-Tyson Chandler (Kwame Brown)
Hey, that’s not bad at all if you’re making the second pick!
Tyson Chandler ended being a Defensive Player of the Year and an NBA Champion
with the Mavericks. Kwame Brown ended up smearing Michael Jordan’s reputation
as an executive for the rest of eternity, which is astonishing because Jordan
drafted Adam Morrison and somehow Kwame is still considered his biggest blunder. Kwame
was allegedly terrified of catching the ball (but more likely he was just
terrified of Kobe). Many would argue that Kwame is the biggest bust in NBA
history.
Not taking anything away from Chandler and the things he’s
accomplished, but let’s not pretend that he was a gem or a game changing player.
Especially when you consider that Pau Gasol (2x champion) was picked after
Chandler, Tony Parker (4x champion and Finals MVP) was picked 28th,
Gilbert Arenas (top flight talent before he thought he was in the Hit’em Up music video) was selected in the 2nd freaking round, and All-Stars/
champions Joe Johnson, Shane Battier, Jason Richardson, Zach Randolph, Gerald
Wallace, and Richard Jefferson were all selected in the first round after
Chandler. The moral of the story, as always, is that hindsight is a
motherfucker.
2002- Jay Williams (Yao Ming)
Woof. How depressing is this? Here’s the story if you don’t
know it: Both of these players had incredible potential to be Hall of Fame
talents, only to have their careers derailed by injury. Yao Ming was a highly
regarded, highly skilled, 7’6” center that saw his career cut short by multiple
foot injuries. Williams, besides unfortunately sharing a name with a player that accidently murdered his limo driver, saw his career end after one season
due to a horrific motorcycle accident.
This is worst case scenario if you’re making the second pick
in the draft. While there were a number of notable players selected later in
the draft (Amar’e Stoudemire, Nene, Caron Butler, Tayshaun Prince, Carlos
Boozer, and of course Dan Dickau) Williams easily could have been that good.
How good was Jay Will? He made you not hate Duke even though they had Mike
Dunleavy (number 3 in this draft by the way) and Carlos Boozer. I’m getting
depressed thinking about Yao and Jay Will, let’s move on.
2003- Darko Milicic (LeBron James)
Depending on who you ask, the 2003 draft class is up there
with the 1984 and 1996 classes as the best draft ever. It’s rightfully deserved
when your draft features LeBron James, Carmelo Anthony, Dwyane Wade, and Chris
Bosh in the top five. This draft also had David West, Boris Diaw, and Kyle
Korver, amongst many other recognizable rotation players.
*Stephen A. Smith voice* SO HOW, IN THE HELL, DO YOU DRAFT,
DARKO MILICIC, DARKO!! MILICIC!!!
SECOND, OVERALL, WHEN YOU HAVE A DWYANE WADE. A CHRIS BOSH. A CAR, MELO,
AN,THONY. ON THE BOARD. AND YOU TAKE DARKO MILICIC??!? THAT’S BLASPHEMY!!
Average basketball blog reader, do you know who Darko
Milicic is? You probably do because you know he’s one of the biggest busts
ever. But could you pick him out of a lineup? Probably not. If you’re curious
what team he plays for now, you won’t find him on a roster. Now he’s a kick boxer. Yeah, I’m not trying to have the number 2 pick for the Lakers reenacting Bloodsport 10 years from now.
Hint: he's the taller one
The cruel irony is that Joe Dumars, who was GM of the
Pistons at the time, managed to salvage this blunder of a draft pick by trading
for Rasheed Wallace midway through 2004, which led to the Pistons winning the championship that year and appearing in the Eastern Conference Finals for like the next six years or
something like that (it was actually only five but close enough). The moral of
this story, as always, is to have a backup plan.
2004- Emeka Okafor (Dwight Howard)
Hey, you remember that one time where UCONN won the national
championship and everyone, including myself, was like, “You should draft
Okafor! He just won the championship and why would you draft a high schooler
number 1 after the Kwame incident?”
"This motherfucker still has braces!!!"--Last words of a Magic intern right before he was fired
Well, the Magic weren’t having any of that nonsense, and
they drafted Howard first overall. Naturally Charlotte, led by the infallible
executive Michael Jordan, chose All-American (and scholastic genius) Emeka
Okafor with the 2nd overall pick. It should be noted that this was
the last year high schoolers were allowed to jump directly to the NBA. So
people started to catch on that for every Bryant, McGrady, LeBron, and Garnett,
there were a number of high schoolers that…sucked, horribly. However, Howard
was that blue chip talent that was worth betting on, even if he didn’t attend
college.
The moral of this story, as always, is if you have the
number 1 pick, don’t listen to the idiots, follow your heart and fuck over the
team with the 2nd pick.
2005- Marvin Williams (Andrew Bogut)
I don’t know what happened here. I really don’t. 2005 was
the year I really started watching college basketball. I videotaped the
Illinois vs. North Carolina title game and I watched said tape a mind boggling
amount of times. Here’s the things I took away from that NCAA Tournament:
1)
Marvin Williams comes off the bench but the
other Williams on UNC is way more useful than him
2)
That dude on Wake Forest, I think his name is
Chris Paul? That guy is the truth.
That was it. So *ahem, braces self for another Stephen A.
Smith voice*
SO WHY?! IN THE HELL?! IS THE SIXTH MAN! THE SIXTH! MAN!!!! OF THE COLLEGE BASKETBALL NATIONAL CHAMPION. SELECTED.
SECOND! OVERALL!!! OVER A SHOE-IN-HALL-OF-FAMER CHRIS
PAUL?!!! WHY ISN’T HE FIRST OVERALL, SKIP?!
"How the fuck should I know?!"
Deron Williams was also in that draft, selected 3rd
overall actually ahead of Chris Paul. If you are a basketball fan and you feel
like hating yourself for 10 minutes, just look at the lottery of this draft.
I’m lost for words, just, lost.
The moral of the story, as always, is….something…
NACHOS?!?!
2006- LaMarcus Aldridge (Andrea Bargnani)
2007- Kevin Durant (Greg Oden)
Let’s group these two drafts together because they represent
what I hope for the Lakers. These two drafts are similar to the historic
1984 draft. Casual blog reader, have you heard of Michael Jordan? Yes? Good.
Can you guess, without looking it up, when he was drafted? Well, before you
read this post, you probably assumed number one. But he was actually drafted
third overall behind Hakeem Olajuwon (2x champion, Finals MVP, and regular
season MVP), and Sam Bowie.
Portland fans, buckle up, because this section may cause you
to commit suicide. I apologize in advance. In 1984, the Portland TrailBlazers
had the number 2 pick and decided to draft injury-plagued big man, Sam Bowie,
over the almost unanimous GOAT, Michael Jordan. In 2006, drunk off Dirk Nowitzki
setting the league on fire, the Toronto Raptors selected Andrea Bargnani with
the first overall pick over All-Stars LaMarcus Aldridge, Brandon Roy, Rajon
Rondo, Kyle Lowry, and Paul Millsap. Through arguably the most cunning GMing
I’ve ever seen, the Blazers landed Aldridge and Roy in that draft. It was
gorgeous, until it blossomed to getting the number 1 pick of the 2007 draft.
And then the ghost of 1984 resurfaced.
I admit that in 2007 I supported the Blazers decision to draft Greg Oden over Kevin Durant. The same Kevin
Durant that became the youngest scoring champion ever and the same Greg Oden
that played the equivalent of a full season in four years. One player is the
second best player in the world, the other isn’t in the league anymore. While I
don’t wish anything bad on the Timberwolves, whom haven’t had a worthwhile
season in over a decade, this is what I hope happens for the Lakers. I pray
that the second pick is actually the franchise player that Durant and Aldridge
ended up being. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, I hope the Lakers
pick D’Angleo Russell with the number two pick, assuming that Karl-Anthony
Towns is picked number one overall by the Wolves. It’s not that I hope the
number one pick fails, I just want the best pick of the draft to fall number
two, it rarely happens but it has happened before.
The moral of the story, as always, is hope that the other
guy fucks up royally. Also, as my Dad always says, sometimes it’s better to be
lucky than good.
2008- Michael Beasley (Derrick Rose)
The upcoming draft with Okafor and Towns as the headliners
reminds a lot of the 2008 draft. Before Michael Beasley became a walking
marijuana felony waiting to happen, he was considered a can’t miss force and
legitimate option for the number 1 pick. On the other hand, you had a Calipari
product in Derrick Rose that exploded on the scene after a breathtaking NCAA
tournament performance. As we already know, Rose was drafted first and became
the youngest MVP in history before God decided he was destined to be the next
Penny Hardaway. While Beas has cleaned up his act and has found a second life
in the NBA, he quickly found himself temporarily exiled from the league. With
that said, it can’t be ignored that Beasley and Rose were considered equals
coming into the draft, much like Okafor and Towns today.
Looking back on how things have played out, the 2008 draft
was weird. If you remember correctly, the Thunder shocked everyone by choosing
Russell Westbrook fourth overall, leaving Kevin Love to fall to fifth
and to the Timberwolves. Clearly that gamble worked out for the Thunder,
especially considering they grabbed Serge Ibaka at 24th. If you go
back and look at the draft selections, you’ll be amazed at the number of
lottery guys that became role players and the number of max contracts guys that
went late in first round and even in the second round. The moral of the story,
as always, is that nothing is guaranteed in the lottery, especially for the
first three draft spots.
2009- Hasheem Thabeet (Blake Griffin)
Hey, remember the epic MVP race this season between James
Harden and Steph Curry? They were both in this draft, with Harden third overall and Curry seventh, respectively. Hasheem Thabeet, a player that
averaged 10 minutes per game, 2.2 points, and 2.7 rebounds per game for his
five year career was picked before both of these guys.
Whiffing on Steph is understandable considering many doubted
his frame would be durable enough for the NBA. Harden dominated the Pac-10 (was
it still the Pac-10 back then? Yeah, I think it was) while playing for Arizona
State and it was pretty clear that he was going to be a great scorer and beard
grower someday. Meanwhile, anyone that watched college basketball or Uconn play
could have told you that the 7’3” behemoth shutting down the lane was extremely
one dimensional. Simple things, such as catching the ball and not standing in
the key for 8 seconds, seemed much more difficult than it should be, especially for the supposed second best player in the draft. Thabeet
did benefit from being athletic while freakishly tall, but as we now know,
that, uh “skill set”, did not transfer well to the NBA.
While Towns and, especially, Okafor are much more polished
offensively than Thabeet, the moral of the story, as always, is that big men are
unpredictable as fuck. Draft the guard that annihilated everyone in college
(read: D’Angelo Russell).
2010- Evan Turner (John Wall)
After Calipari’s first season in Lexington, he sent five
players to the NBA draft. Those players were John Wall (1st),
DeMarcus Cousins (5th), Patrick Patterson (14th), Eric Bledsoe (18th), and Daniel Orton (29th). Two of those
guys are All-Stars and three of them are the faces of their franchises. This
was the first wave of Kentucky stars that invaded the league and saw players
blossom into either All-Stars or key rotation players.
Turner has already bounced his way around the league and is
currently the king of “Most Maddeningly Inconsistent Player” alive. In college,
he was a multi-dimensional guard that single-handily carried the Ohio State
Buckeyes. Much like, oh shit…D’Angelo Russell…
The moral of the story, as always, is when in doubt, draft the
Calipari kids.
2011- Derrick Williams (Kyrie Irving)
After coaching the Team USA World Championship and Olympic
teams, Coach K decided to roll the dice on the new wave thinking “One and Done”
movement in college basketball. Notorious for recruiting players that were
committed for four full years, it took coaching the likes of Kobe, LeBron, and
Wade, to convince Coach K to change his approach, which led to him recruiting Kyrie
Irving. If you remember correctly, Kyrie missed a majority of the season with
an injury only to come back in time to light up the tournament. Despite his
performance, many felt that Arizona forward Derrick Williams was more proven
and should be the number 1 pick.
I feel ridiculous even thinking about that now, but the argument
was legit. It was actually eerily similar to the debate between Derrick Rose
and Michael Beasley. What Williams and Beasley shared in common was the fact
that they were “tweeners” that dominated in college. What I mean by that is
they have the build of a small forward, but played like power forwards in
college. In the pros, they are too small to play the power forward role but not
polished enough on the perimeter to play the small forward spot (Draymond Green
and the Golden States Warriors are laughing at that sentence right now, to
which I say shut up, I’m trying to make a point). This is a big reason for why
they haven’t lived up to their potentials as the number 2 overall pick. The
moral of the story, as always, is avoid the tweeners and draft the One and Done player
out of Duke.
2012- Michael Kidd-Gilchrist (Anthony Davis)
Sometimes this is just how the draft works. There’s the
player that you really want, that’s obviously going to be the future, and he’s
just barely out of your grasp. That’s what happened here. Every team in the
league would have given their left nut to have Anthony Davis but thanks to
David Stern rigging the lottery again incredible luck and beating the odds,
the Pelicans were able to draft arguably the next great NBA superstar. The
consolation prize ended up being Michael Kidd-Gilchrist playing for Michael
Jordan and the Bobcats/ Hornets. Don’t get me wrong, I love MKG almost as much
as anyone. He’s an awesome defender and a balls to the walls type of athlete.
But holy shit, he cannot shoot at all. That’s never a good sign for the number
2 overall pick.
Luckily, the only other All-Star in this draft was Damien
Lillard (sixth overall), so it wasn’t like they missed out on a number
of franchise changing guys. Although, they did miss out on Bradley Beal,
Harrison Barnes, Andre Drummond, and Draymond Green, all of which will likely become
All-Stars someday soon. So I guess the moral of the story, as always, is hope the
other guy royally fucks up, and if that doesn’t work, at least make sure
Michael Jordan isn’t running your team.
2013- Victor Oladipo (Anthony Bennett)
I seriously have no words for this draft. The moral of the story is
make sure you drink enough to forget the 2013 draft.
Way ahead of ya
2014- Jabari Parker (Andrew Wiggins)
The jury is still out. I’m just saying, one player won Rookie
of the Year, the other tore his ACL. Based on how this post has went, which
player do you think tore his ACL? Exactly.
2015—TBD
As a fan, I have no choice but to hope, even though I have
the ever-present dread of knowing Jim Buss runs my beloved team. With that
said, the past 15 years, outside of a few instances, shows that the number 2
pick hasn’t worked out too well, to say the least. I want the Lakers to draft
Russell, but at the end of the day, Okafor and/or Towns might end up becoming a
franchise player after all. So who knows! The one thing I do know for sure,
regarding the Lakers outlook on the draft, is that Kobe Bryant goes to bed
every night reciting a prayer similar to Jonah Hill’s prayer in This is the End.
"God, can you please kill Jim Buss? That'd be so tight."
Facts, Stats, and other shit you don't care bout courtesy of:
http://www.hoopsvibe.com/nba-gossip-and-rumors/168196-kobe-bryant-kwame-brown-was-scared-of-the-ball
